Didn’t think America’s Best Dance Crew Season 1 would blow up so fast, did you? Is that why you didn’t audition? Well, now you get a second chance. Randy Jackson and his gang will hold second season tryouts in Los Angeles, Houston, Chicago and New York. Surprising that no one from New York placed in the top 3. Isn’t that where hip-hop dancing began? Anyway, if you can’t make it to any of the four audition sites, you are SOL. That’s what you get for living in a shack by the river. Psyche! They’ll take your video submissions.

Watching the first season, I got to thinking. Mario Lopez still has a career? Out of all the celebs Randy could’ve chosen, they picked a guy who starred in the recent movie, Husband for Hire. He plays a scheming ex-fiancee and it was broadcast on the Oxygen network. Really. You couldn’t find any bigger name than Slater from Saved by the Bell? Axe him and let him go back to amateur boxing.

Big thanks to the Jabberwockeez. They’ve now made it socially acceptable for me to carry around this hockey mask. When I’m dry humping a girl’s leg in the club and she resists, I hold up my hand and pull out my mask. She just laughs like she’s in a Mentos commercial and I go back to rubbing against her. Or when a girl screams after catching me outside her window. I whip it out and say, “it’s okay, I’m a Jabberwockee”.