It must be tough to be a big star at home, go to a different country and start at the bottom. Many immigrants have doctorate degrees, worked in white collar jobs back home and then come to America to drive cabs. Meanwhile, Se7en slays them back home in Korea. But now, according to POPSEOUL!, he’ll be signing autographs at Verizon Wireless stores in the Bay Area and Southern California. Dates below the cut.
However, if you can’t make it, don’t worry. He’ll be performing at Hot Dog on a Stick in late summer. By performing, I mean stomping on lemons in a trash can. Autographs will only be allowed during his 15 minute break. Or watch him mop floors after hours at the mall. That one’s a very limited engagement. For that, your best bet is to stand outside and watch him through the windows.
Kim Jee-Woon’s latest project touches down at the Cannes Film Festival. Kim directed The Foul King, A Tale of Two Sisters and A Bittersweet Life. His newest film, The Good, the Bad, the Weird, stars Song Kang-ho, Lee Byung-hun and Jung Woo-sung and is a foray into “oriental western”. Never heard of that genre before, so Kim must be a trailblazer. According to the Cannes Film Festival, the movie centers on:
The 30ties in the Mandchurian [sic] desert. The Weird steals a map from a japanese official. The Bad is paid to get it back. The Good is a bounty hunter who tracks them down. In this unpredictable, escalating battle for the map and the men, who will stand in the end as the winner?
They forgot to mention that hilarity ensues when they also find a baby girl on their doorstep. How will these three bachelors deal with dirty diapers and 3 a.m. feedings?
I will see this movie solely based on A Tale of Two Sisters. The Youtube community is abuzz over this trailer. Already, 3 comments on 1,243 views. kimberlykenobi is “not sure I can handle how good this movie is going to be!” kruskev says “this movie will be amazing” and metaxyfsiks opines “amazing”. metaxyfsiks sounds like the guy who can’t come up original jokes and just says “yeah!” once they’re told. Anyway, this movie shall be amazing.
Have you heard of Takashi Murakami? You may have, if you know Kanye West. Takashi designed the covers for Kanye’s “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” and “Stronger” singles. He also directed the artwork for the Graduation album.
You may not have known that Takashi also sculptures, among other artistic endeavors. One of his sculptures, My Lonesome Cowboy, sold for $15 million at Sotheby’s last week. *gulp* Stunning, especially considering that the sculpture is 8 foot tall and shows a man ejaculating. One long ejaculate in the shape of a lasso, swirling high over his head. Aren’t you glad you went to college?
Whoever pays $15 million for an ejaculating cowboy lives in a fantasy world. The same fantasy world where he thinks someone can ejaculate in the shape of a lasso. Trust me. You can spin all you want, but all that happens is your curtains get really dirty. Then, your roommate starts nagging you about the ’smell’. Dude, I’m an artist, just like Murakami. Oh what, he did it as a sculpture? Well, I’m all about living art.
Another sculpture, entitled Hirapon, shows a manga-type girl squirting titty juice out of size double-H breasts. This seems like a fantasy also, but I’ll have to verify it with my mother.
Our beloved Sulu, George Takei, one of the pioneers in Asian acting, has decided to marry Brad Altman, his partner of 21 years. After California overturned the no gay marriage ruling, Sulu announced the great news on his blog:
At long last, the barrier to full marriage rights for same-sex couples has been torn down. We are equal with all citizens of our state! [except for illegal immigrants]
I agree with Sulu. Finally, full marriage rights to the gays and lesbians. All the religious nuts will argue that next, we’ll have marriage between people and animals. Those people are idiots. How do you put a ring on a paw? Ha..it cannot be done. And just try getting Fido to sign a marriage certificate.
Sulu continues:
For now, Brad and I are enjoying the delicious dilemma of deciding where, when, and how we will be married. Marriage equality took a long time, but, like fine wine, its bouquet is simply exquisite.
Here’s how you know you’re gay. If you use ‘delicious’ to describe anything but food. And as if we needed any more confirmation that Sulu is gay. What guy uses ‘delicious’, ‘bouquet’ and ‘exquisite’ in the span of two sentences? That’s right, a gay guy.
Yao Ming recently taped a commercial for the Red Cross in conjunction with the NBA. Seated in front of a black background, Yao issues a solemn plea for…ESL classes? No offense to Yao, I love him. In fact, some of my best friends are 7 foot tall Asian people. Therefore, it gives me license to insult him.
Yao was drafted in 2002, yet his English has never made it to the big leagues. Is this why the Rockets can never get past the first round? No one can hear him yell for the ball. It’s not just his accent; his voice is so low. It must be big-man’s syndrome.
Shaq is the same. His voice is so low he makes Barry White sound like a 16 year old Japanese girl. Kawaii ne!! (Editor’s note: Actually, Barry White is dead.) Being so tall, it must take their voices twice as long to travel up from their lungs to their throat and out their mouth.
Congratulations to Utada for crossing over the 1 million sales mark. Hard to do when no one pays for music anymore. She’s released a new video for “Prisoner of Love”, her latest single.
The video shows her locked (presumably) in a room with only a piano and musical recording equipment. Nothing like any prison I’ve been to. Love must be a really nice guy. Helps her out with her nice clothing, her fancy microphones, those thousand dollar synthesizers and computers. Love’s out working a real job while she sits in her ‘prison’, bitchin’ about him while she warbles in her red, high heels. She should be grateful she’s singing “Prisoner of Love” and not “Prison Love”.
It must be tough to be a big star at home, go to a different country and start at the bottom. Many immigrants have doctorate degrees, worked in white collar jobs back home and then come to America to drive cabs. Meanwhile, Se7en slays them back home in Korea. But now, according to POPSEOUL!, he’ll be signing autographs at Verizon Wireless stores in the Bay Area and Southern California. Dates below the cut.
Kim Jee-Woon’s latest project 
Have you heard of Takashi Murakami? You may have, if you know Kanye West. Takashi designed the covers for Kanye’s “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” and “Stronger” singles. He also directed the artwork for the Graduation album.
